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Below are the 19 most recent journal entries recorded in I don't watch spectator sports, and I'm damn proud's LiveJournal:

Thursday, May 29th, 2003
1:39 am
Perhaps what distinguishes the average non-sports fan from the average sports fan is that if you're a sports fan, you have to make a choice between either the antics of the Mike Tysons (see story below) and Ty Cobbs or the incredibly vast blandness of the Riddick Bowes and Mark McGwires.

Non-sports fans don't care to make that dumb choice. That's why they're not sports fans.

(shakes head in sad disbelief) Sigh...

Wednesday, May 28, 2003
Tyson on Washington: 'I just hate her guts'


Mike Tyson hasn't lost his penchant for saying the outrageous.

In a television interview scheduled for broadcast Thursday, Tyson again denied he raped Desiree Washington in 1991 in an Indianapolis hotel room. But he said the burden of being labeled a convicted rapist makes him want to do it now.

"I just hate her guts. She put me in that state, where I don't know,'' Tyson said. "I really wish I did now. But now I really do want to rape her.''

Tyson made the comments during a recent interview in Miami Beach with Greta Van Susteren, who was taking a look back at the circumstances of Tyson's 1992 trial that ended with him convicted of rape and sentenced to six years in prison.

He served three years of the sentence before being released on parole.

A call for comment to Tyson's adviser, Shelly Finkel, was not immediately returned.

The interview will be shown Thursday night on "The Pulse'' on the Fox network.
Wednesday, April 23rd, 2003
2:36 pm
From ESPN (Of All Places!!!!):
Calling all villains
By Jeff Merron
Page 2 staff

We hate 'em. They're nasty, mean, and sometimes just pure evil. Whenever we remember their positive contributions to sport, we can't help but think about the ugly, overwhelming negativity of who they were, or some awful deed they did. They're the ultimate sports villains, and if they weren't real, we would have had to make them up. Check our list of the ultimate sports villains and then tell us who we missed.Read more...Collapse )

Current Mood: surprised
Saturday, January 25th, 2003
3:26 pm
The Anti-Superbowl
So, what are all you non-sports fans doing INSTEAD OF watching the Superbore?

I'll be down in Washington, DC, conducting an interview, getting coffee, and browsing bookstores! :)

Current Mood: apathetic
3:20 pm
I hope they all quit!
'Cause It's 1-2-3 Cavities, You're Out
Erik Deckers
Laughing Stalk Syndicate
Copyright 2002

When companies face high taxes and financial strain, good executives will try anything they can think of to fight their way out of a bad situation. They'll make salary cuts, slash travel and advertising budgets, and even cut employee benefits.

Cue the wacky sports blooper music!

That's the situation New York Yankee owner George Steinbrenner finds himself in. His Yankees have the highest payroll in Major League Baseball. In 2002, the Yankees' payroll was $125,928,583. The Boston Red Sox were second with $108,366,060, and the Tampa Bay Devil Rays were dead last with $34,380,000 -- nearly 64% less than the Yankees spent.

Or to put it another way, the top three Yankee paychecks -- Derek Jeter, Bernie Williams, and Mike Mussina -- totaled $3.5 million MORE than the Devil Rays spent on their entire team.

So Steinbrenner is racing to avoid paying the "payroll luxury tax" that came from this year's collective bargaining agreement. The luxury tax is a fee assessed to baseball teams who go over a certain dollar limit on their total payroll, and it galls Steinbrenner to pay it, even though it's his fault it exists.

So what's the Yankee Spender doing to fix the problem? Firing one of his middle-of-the-road bench sitters? Cutting a small percentage of every player's payroll? Asking Jeter to take a slightly smaller piece of his $14.6 million per year pie? No, he's eliminating the dental plan for his 150 front-office employees (of course, the players and coaching staff will not be affected by this move).

Steinbrenner: Have fun at our office Christmas party everyone, but don't eat too much candy. By the way, your dental insurance is canceled. Merry Christmas.

According to sports humorist Robert Hunt Jr.'s "Monday Morning Noter," Steinbrenner is doing this so he can save. . . are you ready for this? . . . $100,000!

When your team payroll is three-and-a-half times higher than the Gross Domestic Product of the island nation of Montserrat, how is gouging your support staff going to help? Wouldn't cutting player salaries be a better idea?

After all, Derek Jeter earns $100,000 in ten innings. How about asking him to taking one for the team to help out the front office folks? It could go a long way in helping him avoid certain headaches next season.

Yankees' launderer: I don't know who put the Icy Hot in your jockstrap, Mr. Jeter. I meant to wash it, but the pain in my tooth was too much, and I had to go home early.

Yankees' publicist: Derek, I know you were supposed to visit the
Children's Hospital last night, but my filling fell out, and I had to rush to the dentist. I don't know how you ended up at the Leprosy & Bubonic Plague Sufferers Christmas party. You're not contagious, are you?

Yankees' secretary: Mr. Jeter, your wife called earlier today, but I'm so worried about how I'll pay for my son's braces, I may have
accidentally told her you were with another woman.

Steinbrenner, whose notorious cheapness and bad business decisions have turned him into a punchline with a bad haircut, seems to be looking in the wrong direction to solve the problem. Maybe he should focus less on whether or not 150 of his employees have icky teeth, and worry more about the fact that if the Yankees were a country, his team payroll would rank 192nd out of 268 countries and island territories on the world's Gross Domestic Product list.

But he doesn't do that. Instead, he nickles-and-dimes his front office employees to cut back on team costs. This past October, Steinbrenner fired nearly 25 people because of the luxury tax, and forced them to sign a "media non-disclosure" agreement or lose their salary.

"(The Yankees are) coming off record revenues and record ticket sales, and they've made the playoffs for eight straight years," one anonymous source said in an ESPN.com news story. "It would seem inconceivable that they would stoop to that. This is something only a really bad businessman would do."

You hit the nail right on the head, Mystery Baseball Source. When a CEO worries more about the cost of a box of paper clips than the fact that all his Vice Presidents have been arrested for insider trading, he is fired and and bludgeoned by angry stockholders. But when a baseball owner whines and chisels every cent from his support staff, but still insists on paying top dollar for his players, he's hailed as some kind of financial genius.

At least his overpaid players think so. Everyone else thinks he's a
financial moron.

Current Mood: offended
Tuesday, December 3rd, 2002
12:21 am
Why Athletes Should Not Be Role Models...
Taken from [Bad username: <flyswatter&quot;]'s journal:

"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
--Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh

"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
--Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996

"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
--Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

"You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."
--Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman because of academic deficiencies: "I play football. I'm not trying to be a professor. The tests don't seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven't been through in school."

Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison For three years, not Princeton."

Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece: "I can't really remember the names of the clubs we went to."

Shaquille O'Neal on his lack of championships: "I've won at every level, except college and pro."

Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."

Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his 1992 team's 7-27 record: "We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play."

Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano in 1982 why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."

Tommy Lasorda, Dodgers manager, when asked in 1981 what terms Mexican-born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for in his upcoming contract negotiations: "He wants Texas back."

Darrell Royal, Texas football coach, asked in 1966 if the abnormal number of Longhorn injuries that season resulted from poor physical conditioning: "One player was lost because he broke his nose. How do you go about getting a nose in condition to play football?"

Mike McCormack, coach of the hapless Baltimore Colts, after the 1981 team's co-captain, offensive guard Robert Pratt, pulled a hamstring running onto the field for the coin toss against St. Louis: "I'm going to send the injured reserve players out for the toss next time."

Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans in 1991 that a fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books: "But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet."

Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints general manager, when asked after a 1986 loss what he thought of the refs: "I'm not allowed to comment on lousy officiating."

Alan Kulwicki, stock-car racer, on racing Saturday nights as opposed to Sunday afternoons: "It's basically the same, just darker."

Lincoln Kennedy, Oakland Raiders tackle, on his decision not to vote: "I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot."

Jim Colletto, Purdue football coach and former assistant at Arizona State and Ohio State, on his 11-year-old son's reaction after he took the job with the Boilermakers: "He said: 'Gosh, Dad, that mean's we're not going to any more bowl games.'"

LaVell Edwards, BYU football coach and one of 14 children: "They can't fire me because my family buys too many tickets."

Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"

Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."

Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four Fs and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."
Monday, November 25th, 2002
8:32 pm
On the College Football Playoff Riots.
Ohio State beat Michigan 14 to 9 last night. If you're a football fan, you've probably guessed what I'm now gonna write about. If you don't like college football fans being compared to right-wing Nixonian classist Media-Based stereotypes, please stop reading now. If you do, then proceed to savor every word I'm about to say in this here rant.Read more...Collapse )
Wednesday, November 13th, 2002
8:56 am
Harry Potter: Pampered Jock
This is an amusing (I thought) article on how Harry Potter is given special privileges simply because he's a Quidditch-playing jock.


Current Mood: amused
Sunday, November 10th, 2002
11:29 am
Tuesday, November 5th, 2002
9:22 pm
It pisses me off when sports players who are making like billions of dollars a year complain about not getting enough money. Ya, okay, you're making more than most people, quit bitching! They go on strike and act like it bothers us. We're more than happy that you don't wanna play for us. We don't care. But RAWR! all they do is prance around on the field catching a ball or kicking a ball or throwing a ball. Many people in this world do more important things that require skills.

Current Mood: bouncy
Sunday, November 3rd, 2002
11:09 pm
I have never been interested in watching sports. Ironically, I work in a sporting goods store. ^_^;

Current Mood: annoyed
2:05 pm
An interesting perspective
Yesterday I was talking to a guy who used to be a pretty big baseball fan. I think he had a baseball scholarship at one time, and he still enjoys playing league softball. Anyway, the guy refuses, absolutely REFUSES to watch professional sports because he doesn't want to give professional sports any of his money. His reason? He said it makes him sick to see that schoolteachers in the U.S. are so horribly paid and underappreciated for what they do, while pro athletes are paid millions of dollars, worshipped like gods, then are always whining about how they don't make enough money. The priorities, he said, made him sick, so he stopped watching professional sports.
Sunday, October 13th, 2002
2:17 pm
OK, I am really really really wanting my Sunday night fix back. STOP PRE-EMPTING MY SIMPSONS WITH YOUR GOD DAMN SPORTS!!!!!

That is all.

Current Mood: grumpy
9:05 am
Local News - fucked up priorities
Which of these two stories do you think local Los Angeles news considered more important? By "more important," I mean the order in which they showed the stories and the amount of time devoted to each of them:

1. Terrorist bomb kills 187 in Indonesia on the anniversary of the USS Cole attack.
2. California Angels are 1 win away from going to the World Series.

Oh, just guess.
Saturday, September 28th, 2002
3:48 pm
"I don't want to play no more!" he says.
Supposedly the fans are "too stupid." to be worthy of his 19 million dollar contract.
Friday, September 20th, 2002
9:57 pm
Thursday, August 8th, 2002
10:23 am
About a year ago, I was waiting for some show to come one tv. It was late at night, and a stupid baseball game was lasting for hours on end (yes, even longer than usual) They showed a view of the crowd. People were sleeping, laying down on the bleachers. Then Someone yelled "SOMEBODY SCORE!!!!!" I thought that was amusing.
Wednesday, August 7th, 2002
1:28 pm
Accidentally posted this in my own journal last night instead of here:

Sports: I don't give a shit.

One time director John Waters took a cab in his hometown of Baltimore, and the cab driver inquired how bout those (insert local team here)? Well, Waters went off on him! "Do I climb in the back of your cab and say "Hey, did you catch Fassbinder's latest movie??? Wasn't it the greatest???" Waters has also stated that when he was a kid and his dad dragged him to sporting events he was always hoping the stadium seats would collapse because that would be much more interesting.

10:21 am
My friend (who also doesn't watch sports) had to go to a Dodgers game recently because it was a family event. He was so bored that he started calling people just to have something to do, then he read a book and drank beer. He said the only thing he enjoyed about the experience was the Dodger Dogs.
Tuesday, August 6th, 2002
6:07 pm
Um, post number 1
Okay, so I started this community kind of as a support group (I'm only half kidding) for those of us who don't watch spectator sports and get tired of people looking like us like we have two heads or something because we don't worship pro ball players. I actually had this idea for quite some time, but I only acted on it recently. I don't know if there are other similar lj communities in place already.

The thing that kind of got me started was when I was listening to NPR the other day, and the subject was something about pro baseball and economics and business and all, and how it's "The American Pasttime." A guy called in and said that baseball WAS the American Pasttime back when people used to PLAY sports instead of just sitting on their asses and watching them. Baseball, he said, was no longer the American Pasttime because people don't play it anymore; they just watch overpaid pros play it. The caller's point was that we've become a nation of watchers rather than doers, and that the American Pasttime had become strictly business.

I thought he had a good point.
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